There is no clock in your nursery. As if we anticipated that time would be of little consequence in that space. The gray rocker in the corner already a bit spotted from those early days of an abundance of spit up. Those early nights were longer than the current ones; full of worry and anxiety about whether you were eating enough. You are much heavier tonight than in those days. Clearly we got that all the food drama sorted out.
The last eight months have been amazing and terrible and terrifying and life-changing. This little person changed our life in ways we saw coming, in ways we never expected…in every way. People tried to explain it to me, but it is like falling in love. I didn’t understand until I saw her little face. From day one my little Peanut let us know who was running the show now.
Tonight you are giggling and chattering at me after emptying your last bottle for today. For a split second, I remember those early days/nights before we knew each other — when we were still figuring out how to make all of this work. I smile for a moment at the memory of that tiny little angel until it also comes back to me: her constant crying and my fear that I had no idea how to do any of this. I am sure that fear will return in some capacity as we enter new stages of childhood and then adulthood.
Yesterday afternoon you rolled over and over for basically the first time. A few days before that you began whispering t-sounds. My heart exploded and I am reminded how far we have come. Every moment is like that; enjoying those precious times and anticipating the next milestone. This is an adventure that I feel privileged to experience, the mountains and the valleys — the spit ups and the giggles.
Until next time, have a great day and be kind!